Pornography used to be a taboo subject, restricted to magazines hid under the bed and low-lit sex shops in unsavory parts of town.

These days, however, porn can be a valuable part of an individual’s sex life and something to be shared within a relationship.

Recent research indicates that watching erotic films together can strengthen romantic relationships, and there are several benefits of viewing porn with your partner.

1. Learn About Your Partner’s Fantasies By Watching Porn

It’s natural for a couple to fall into a sexual routine – recycling the same settings, positions, and moves over and over again.

It can be challenging for long-term partners to express new desires, especially ones that might be negatively received.

Watching a variety of porn can be a way to explore one another’s fantasies or discover new things to try in the bedroom… or the kitchen, or the Jacuzzi, or the hotel room!

2. Watching Porn – A New Form of Foreplay

Watching porn can be a new way to get excited before sex as you and your partner imagine yourselves in the situations you see onscreen.

It adds an exciting sense of anticipation as you can get all hot and bothered before you even touch one another.

Both men and women begin showing signs of arousal after just 30 seconds of porn viewing, so it can also speed up the process if you want to get your rocks off but don’t have time for a long foreplay session.

3. Watching Porn Keeps the Relationship Fresh

It has never been easier to cheat and then cover your tracks, so many modern relationships find themselves blighted by infidelity.

The temptation to stray is particularly strong in relationships that feel stale, where partners find themselves fantasizing about fresh sexual experiences.

Viewing erotic films together allows you and your beloved to try new things while also viewing other people in a sexual context, lessening the desire to try new things and see other people sexually by being unfaithful.

4. Watching Porn Is Another Sexual Outlet

Many couples have different sex drives – one partner is up for a romp twice a day while the other is happy to get down once a month.

You and your partner may be better matched than that, but there are still probably times when one of you is up for it, and the other just wants to go to sleep.

By watching porn together, you open up the dialogue about watching it separately so that you have a new sexual outlet when your partner isn’t in the mood.

Don’t let watching porn get out of control and become a substitute for the real thing.

5. Explore Unfeasible Situations By Watching Porn

Perhaps one partner is interested in sexual experiences that aren’t feasible within a relationship – one person doesn’t have the desire or physical ability or genitalia to engage in something that the other wants to try.

Watching porn that depicts these scenarios can allow partners to vicariously share experiences that can’t be expressed within their relationship.

This offers sexual release, new conversations about sex, and a way to share an experience that you couldn’t without porn.

Recommended Porn for Couples

Okay, so maybe I’ve now convinced you that watching porn in moderation isn’t all that bad and can help you explore your sexuality more.

The problem is finding suitable porn that you can watch with a partner. The keyword here is “suitable.”

Porn sites receive more regular traffic than Netflix, Amazon, & Twitter combined each month, so how hard can finding this stuff be?

Most porn on the internet has primarily been created for men. Men are far more interested in visual porn than are women, so most porn lacks any semblance of a plot, any dialogue beyond grunting and repetitive usage of the phrase “fuck, yeah,” and certainly little to no romance.

For men, porn sex is all about lust and physical gratification. There is no commitment or mating effort, and the women are always eager to have sex with strangers, get sexually aroused at the drop of a hat, and are always orgasmic (lucky so-and-sos).

In 2019 there were 42 billion visits to the popular porn site Pornhub. 25% of those visits were from women. If anything, this suggests that some women do like a bit of male-oriented erotica from time to time.

However, it’s a different matter snuggling up with your partner to watch a tasty movie as an appetizer to a long evening of passion than watching this kind of macho porn in private.

A quick search on the internet for porn suitable for couples usually brings up the same old recommendations.

These movies are often from an age when porn actresses sported a considerable mass of pubic hair around their genitals, and the men all look like a sleazy uncle, complete with a dodgy mustache.

My top mainstream porn movie picks would be (in no particular order):

Even though these five select movies are great for watching together as a couple, they all tend to focus on the sex acts themselves, emphasizing close-ups of breasts and genitals with scenes often culminating in a facial (not the kind you get in a health spa).

Suppose you seek an alternative to mainstream pornography based on ethical productions and female gaze erotica. In that case, I can’t recommend enough the material produced by award-winning indie adult filmmaker Erika Lust.

Erika creates sex-positive, indie adult cinema that portrays sexually intelligent narratives, relatable characters, and realistic hot sex.

In an industry that often fails to show an accurate representation of sex, Erika’s focus on female pleasure, cinematic values, and diversity is the kind of porn that’s perfect for single women and couples.

Erika has several websites to cater to all tastes. If you are new to pornographic movies and aren’t used to watching this kind of material with a partner, perhaps take a look at Erika’s Else Cinema first.

Finally, The Store selects carefully curated adult films from around the world available to buy, download, or stream straight from the store.

What Kind of Porn do Women Watch?

Every year, Pornhub publishes its “Year in Review,” an analysis of all the data it’s collected on searches, videos watched, duration on-site, and so on.

Regarding the search terms women most search for, the top searches are “lesbian” or lesbian-related.

In past years, there’s been an increase in the number of searches by women of more hardcore porn. Categories such as “gangbang,” “hardcore,” “rough sex,” and “bondage” are on the rise in women’s searches.

Most surprising is that women’s top searched and consumed categories are some of the most aggressive toward women?

Somewhat unsurprisingly, women viewed “scissoring” videos 170 percent more than men. Next up came “solo male”, “pussy licking” and “fingering.”

Sexual Therapy Psychologist Laurie Betito points out that lesbian porn allows women “to see acts they like to receive, which is why pussy licking is so popular.” Amen to that, girls!

It’s a Wrap (as they say in the movies)

There are many reasons why watching porn shouldn’t take over a relationship – it can give unrealistic expectations about sex or lead to self-consciousness. Unfortunately for the younger generation, porn is increasingly seen as a “textbook” for sex, and that’s creating problems.

However, pornography can be an exciting and eye-opening part of a monogamous relationship, and there are many benefits to enjoying it with your partner.

After watching porn, many couples say they learned about new positions and got ideas of things to try in their own sex lives that they might not have otherwise been exposed to.

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